Antidepressants

#1

I know drug topics here are typically about party drugs, but I figured I’d post anyway.

I’m interested in the efficacy of antidepressants, and whether it’s worth my while to go to a doctor to obtain them. I already know that the research conclusions are somewhat mixed, so I’m doing the reverse of what I’d usually do by seeking anecdotal evidence. By the very nature of anecdotal evidence, posting this topic is probably an act of futility. It does serve to get something off my chest though, if nothing else.

Back story: Approaching mid twenties, perpetually single. I’ve been pretty down for a while because of this… It’s hard being in your twenties and not feeling at least a little defective when you’ve never had any kind of intimacy with anyone. This part has been going on for years, and it’s perpetuating. I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve alienated, but I doubt any of them hate me as much as I do.
I had a moment of clarity a while ago and realised that, a handful of people notwithstanding, I know little about any of my friends beyond their name and the superficial stuff you discover about a person on social media sites.

Today I learned that the company I work for is likely to be liquidated in the next few weeks, and my coworkers and I have been made part time effective next week. As far as I’m concerned, there couldn’t be a worse time for this because a lot of companies currently have hiring freezes in place.

We have social security in Australia, but I have liquid assets (my home loan savings) which are reasonably substantial in my view (and in the view of our social security system). As it stands, the worst case scenario is that I would have to go between three and four months before receiving any assistance.
I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that, but I haven’t had any luck finding jobs that I’m qualified for yet. My home savings are literally the only thing I have to show for myself, so it’s upsetting to know that in the worst case it will be eroded to some extent.

Additionally, my coworkers and I have not received superannuation payments (superannuation is basically a pension plan) over the course of our employment. More fool me for not kicking up a shit about it earlier, but it’s too late now.
The liquidator and secured creditors are paid first when a company enters liquidation, before employees, and there’s over 25k of debt on the company’s credit card account. In terms of assets though, I suspect the most valuable is the company car (my boss’ 1999 Celica, probably worth 5k at most). I know the car and contents of our office isn’t going to wipe out None of us are going to see our superannuation.

So yeah, now I’m stressed about my financial position.

Have any of you done the whole depression -> treatment -> recovery process? Was it effective?

tl;dr: Forever alone, soon to be out of a job when quite a few companies allegedly have hiring freezes, and stressed/anxious as a result.

#2

The mechanism by which the SSRI’s work is not really fully known, and there are definitely ‘issues’ with the research… but for some, they are effective, there is no doubt.

Your best bet, honestly, is to go see a good doctor, and see what he thinks is best. I know as nerds there is a tendency to try to analyse shit ourselves, but we don’t have a medical degree or years of field experience with this.

At the risk of sounding patronising (I did say go see a doctor) - are you sure you’re clinically depressed? One thing to remember is that some amount of anxiety/depression is natural when you have shit things in your life - you may wish to try fixing the life first, and seeing if shit gets better. Chronic stressors (ie, really bad environment that causes stress) are legitimately a trigger for depression - put a rat under enough stress for a while and it will get mentally ill, let alone humans.

But again that is why we have experts.

EDIT: Forgot to mention - especially as guys, we seem to hate going to doctors for mental issues. Don’t worry about it, 99% of people in the mental health community are great, non patronising, comfortable people who don’t make big issues out of anything. It’s totally not like you’d expect. I’ve had one bad doctor in my years of being crazy (:P) and while it did piss me off at the time eventually I realised that just like any other service I could tell him to go stick his attitude up his arse and go to a different doctor, who turned out to be great.

#3

How old are you? Is it too late to get ripped?

#4

hahah

#5

While I’ve never been ripped per se, I did get to a stage at one point where I could squat about 120kg and deadlift about 135kg (around the 300lb mark for the Americans).
While this is kind of uplifting (you’re achieving something, and you have muscle and so on to show for it) it’s hardly a panacea. The fact of the matter is that if your mental outlook isn’t directly coupled to how you physically look then it’ll only do so much.

[quote=“Mopman, post:2, topic:509227”]The mechanism by which the SSRI’s work is not really fully known, and there are definitely ‘issues’ with the research… but for some, they are effective, there is no doubt.

Your best bet, honestly, is to go see a good doctor, and see what he thinks is best. I know as nerds there is a tendency to try to analyse shit ourselves, but we don’t have a medical degree or years of field experience with this.

At the risk of sounding patronising (I did say go see a doctor) - are you sure you’re clinically depressed? One thing to remember is that some amount of anxiety/depression is natural when you have shit things in your life - you may wish to try fixing the life first, and seeing if shit gets better. Chronic stressors (ie, really bad environment that causes stress) are legitimately a trigger for depression - put a rat under enough stress for a while and it will get mentally ill, let alone humans.

But again that is why we have experts.

EDIT: Forgot to mention - especially as guys, we seem to hate going to doctors for mental issues. Don’t worry about it, 99% of people in the mental health community are great, non patronising, comfortable people who don’t make big issues out of anything. It’s totally not like you’d expect. I’ve had one bad doctor in my years of being crazy (:P) and while it did piss me off at the time eventually I realised that just like any other service I could tell him to go stick his attitude up his arse and go to a different doctor, who turned out to be great.[/quote]
That’s hardly patronising. It’s actually a very reasonable question.
The short answer is ‘I don’t know’. I don’t actually have any kind of baseline to objectively compare my experiences with.

And yeah, there’s a stigma with admitting to mental health issues. Even if I did have friends who I could comfortably have this particular conversation with, I’d much rather pose the question to a hundred strangers first.
That’s kinda why I posted here.

#6

anti depressants seem to just cause change in someones mental state, good or bad… i know a few people that have taken them in the past, all with mixed results. it seems like one of those things you need to just try for yourself and see if it works, if you have the financial means to get the actual medicine at the time that is.

#7

[quote=“Lothy, post:5, topic:509227”][quote author=Frell link=topic=627469.msg4264172#msg4264172 date=1363807702]
How old are you? Is it too late to get ripped?
[/quote]
While I’ve never been ripped per se, I did get to a stage at one point where I could squat about 120kg and deadlift about 135kg (around the 300lb mark for the Americans).
While this is kind of uplifting (you’re achieving something, and you have muscle and so on to show for it) it’s hardly a panacea. The fact of the matter is that if your mental outlook isn’t directly coupled to how you physically look then it’ll only do so much.[/quote]
Well other than looks its also great for stress relief. Good posture, decent physique, you may not be successful but you’ll look more successful/healthy/confident and thats usually the first thing noticed during a job interview/meeting someone new.

If you had some lifting experience I hope you know that the muscle fascia encasing your muscles is probably still stretched (it can remain stretched for 4-6 years or so) If you started lifting again the fibers would return to their previous size almost at the speed of steroids

#8

Hey man, I feel for you. It’s sad not being able to feel intimate with someone, but I always tell myself that it’s not as good as my brain imagines it to be. You still have a long way ahead of you, you’re no where near the end of your life so you don’t have to think that you will never experience any.

Almost a year ago I had constant headaches which I’ve since been cured from. Skipping the story, during the process of healing I was prescribed a drug that was used as an antidepressant in the past. I was taking Endep daily, starting on something like 5mg all the way to 50mg iirc. I’m pretty sure this drug isn’t used as an antidepressant at all these days, but nevertheless I will tell you what it felt like.

I was taking it at night and due to one of its side effects iirc, it helped me fall asleep. Initially I was a little more careless about some trivial issues that would otherwise normally upset me, however I suspect that this might have been a placebo effect due to me being told that the drug was used as an antidepressant. Another effect was that it almost killed my sex drive, I didn’t masturbate for something close to a month. Apart from those minor changes I didn’t really feel anything else, I was still under the impression that my life was miserable. One thing I did notice was that after missing a dose, I lashed out against my younger brother (6 years of age) for something he can’t be blamed for. I was so angry that I started crying. You would know how hard it is for a grown man to cry. I was convinced this was due to me missing a dose.

So I really didn’t feel that the ‘antidepressant’ improved the quality of my life. The drug I was taking is probably no longer used as an antidepressant so all of this might not apply to you.

Hang in there man. And while centrelink can be a bitch, they’re not going to let you live on the streets.

Have you considered moving to another state for a job?

#9

Some I know who have taken anti-depressants, it’s made them emotionally numb and not give a fuck about anything. This isn’t going to benefit intimacy. Certain people don’t react to anti-depressants in the same way others do.

It might be worth, before taking them to have a look at potential underlining causes and trying to pinpoint where exactly the underlining intimacy problems come from. It may not even be anything bad - if you don’t share the same interests as someone else it’s going to make it hard to build a rapport with them. Like if people only want to speak about superficial things that you may not care about, or maybe you just generally have a lower interest in social endevours, or w.e. How is it you alienate people?

#10

the only noticeable effect I had when taking anti depressants is pleasure reduction. Not only were orgasms shite it also made it so things like stretching didn’t feel as good either(you know when you take a big stretch and it feels really nice).

not helpful to you in the slightest but whatever.

#11

Not meaning to devalue your post, but just to make clear to readers: Endep is a Tricyclic, not really used any more and very different to modern drugs.

#12

Not really. My lease doesn’t run out until around November. I don’t really want to move to Sydney either because I loathe things like traffic congestion.

[quote=“Taios, post:9, topic:509227”]Some I know who have taken anti-depressants, it’s made them emotionally numb and not give a love about anything. This isn’t going to benefit intimacy. Certain people don’t react to anti-depressants in the same way others do.

It might be worth, before taking them to have a look at potential underlining causes and trying to pinpoint where exactly the underlining intimacy problems come from. It may not even be anything bad - if you don’t share the same interests as someone else it’s going to make it hard to build a rapport with them. Like if people only want to speak about superficial things that you may not care about, or maybe you just generally have a lower interest in social endevours, or w.e. How is it you alienate people?[/quote]
My problem is myself. In a nutshell, the view that no woman could possibly want anything to do with me is so ingrained that it’s my default. Consequently, the prospect of any particular person being girlfriend material is met with cynicism and doubt. I’m acutely aware of the fact that I’m cutting my own throat - I’ve never even broached the subject with someone. Overcoming a decade of ostracism isn’t easy (at least for me).

As for alienating people: I’m usually a nice guy. Courteous and so on. But occasionally something drives me nuts and sends me over the edge. For example: Someone (soon to be alienated friend) posted about how rough students have it with student allowance only being X dollars. Two other people (same fate as the poster) agreed and so on.
I suggested that they were right, and offered what could be a reasonable solution (and a solution that motivates people to succeed). In short, the minimum student welfare payment could be raised to a certain value that wouldn’t force somebody to live below the poverty line, but university students with higher marks (high distinctions, and distinctions) would receive even more.
They lost their minds. Apparently that won’t do - all of the poor underachievers would miss out, and there would be inequality… Never mind the fact that the people on the student allowance all have roughly the same time to commit to study, if they so choose to.
No, these guys couldn’t handle the fact that choosing to piss their time away should see them receive less welfare money.
So that was enough to push me off the edge, and as a consequence we continued to argue and then game over.

#13

I never thought antidepressants helped me even though im still taking them. Basically meds alone wont do shit, you should see a therapist while taking meds and even then who knows if it will help. My little input.

#14

I really would just go see a doctor if I were you Lothy. None of us here are doctors and there is no way we could know whether or not anti-depressants would help you or harm you.

Also… Your still young man. You can find a girl who wants to be with you; you’ve got a college degree you are qualified for a bunch of different well paying jobs, you have your own house. Those are all very attractive traits that a woman looks for. You just need to get out and get to know people. Try looking on craigslist for people with similar interests. Even if you can’t immediately find a romantic connection maybe you’ll make a couple good friends in the process.

Not sure if that helps or not but regardless I’m here for you if you ever feel down. Just shoot me a PM or something

#15

I don’t have my own house – I’ve been working on a deposit for one. :stuck_out_tongue: Quite a difference.

#16

[quote=“Lothy, post:12, topic:509227”][quote author=Taios link=topic=627469.msg4265289#msg4265289 date=1363983751]
Some I know who have taken anti-depressants, it’s made them emotionally numb and not give a love about anything. This isn’t going to benefit intimacy. Certain people don’t react to anti-depressants in the same way others do.

It might be worth, before taking them to have a look at potential underlining causes and trying to pinpoint where exactly the underlining intimacy problems come from. It may not even be anything bad - if you don’t share the same interests as someone else it’s going to make it hard to build a rapport with them. Like if people only want to speak about superficial things that you may not care about, or maybe you just generally have a lower interest in social endevours, or w.e. How is it you alienate people?
[/quote]
My problem is myself. In a nutshell, the view that no woman could possibly want anything to do with me is so ingrained that it’s my default. Consequently, the prospect of any particular person being girlfriend material is met with cynicism and doubt. I’m acutely aware of the fact that I’m cutting my own throat - I’ve never even broached the subject with someone. Overcoming a decade of ostracism isn’t easy (at least for me).

As for alienating people: I’m usually a nice guy. Courteous and so on. But occasionally something drives me nuts and sends me over the edge. For example: Someone (soon to be alienated friend) posted about how rough students have it with student allowance only being X dollars. Two other people (same fate as the poster) agreed and so on.
I suggested that they were right, and offered what could be a reasonable solution (and a solution that motivates people to succeed). In short, the minimum student welfare payment could be raised to a certain value that wouldn’t force somebody to live below the poverty line, but university students with higher marks (high distinctions, and distinctions) would receive even more.
They lost their minds. Apparently that won’t do - all of the poor underachievers would miss out, and there would be inequality… Never mind the fact that the people on the student allowance all have roughly the same time to commit to study, if they so choose to.
No, these guys couldn’t handle the fact that choosing to piss their time away should see them receive less welfare money.
So that was enough to push me off the edge, and as a consequence we continued to argue and then game over.[/quote]

My problem is myself. In a nutshell, the view that no woman could possibly want anything to do with me is so ingrained that it's my default. Consequently, the prospect of any particular person being girlfriend material is met with cynicism and doubt. I'm acutely aware of the fact that I'm cutting my own throat - I've never even broached the subject with someone. Overcoming a decade of ostracism isn't easy (at least for me).
I guess self-confidence may be the first aspect to address :). If you don't believe it's possible, it's never going to happen - unless there's shear luck. That's something that stands outside of relationship forming and applies to all goals, because it means you won't pick up on signs that it could be happening, or you'll dismiss them even when they are because 'it's not possible anyway'.
As for alienating people: I'm usually a nice guy. Courteous and so on. But occasionally something drives me nuts and sends me over the edge. For example: Someone (soon to be alienated friend) posted about how rough students have it with student allowance only being X dollars. Two other people (same fate as the poster) agreed and so on. I suggested that they were right, and offered what could be a reasonable solution (and a solution that motivates people to succeed). In short, the minimum student welfare payment could be raised to a certain value that wouldn't force somebody to live below the poverty line, but university students with higher marks (high distinctions, and distinctions) would receive even more. They lost their minds. Apparently that won't do - all of the poor underachievers would miss out, and there would be inequality... Never mind the fact that the people on the student allowance all have roughly the same time to commit to study, if they so choose to. No, these guys couldn't handle the fact that choosing to piss their time away should see them receive less welfare money. So that was enough to push me off the edge, and as a consequence we continued to argue and then game over.
Ok, so alienate in the form of cutting contact?

Some people won’t change their minds over certain opinions though - especially if they are emotionally driven or emotionally attached to their opinion and feel strongly about it. In which case there’s generally no point in arguing - there is not much you’d be able to learn in the debate, and the debate won’t grow into something better which is where solutions can be found for both sides. I’ve found people usually fixed to views also don’t provide good arguments or backing to them, they simply offer their opinions and contradict statements without stating why or where their views have originated. Why? Because they’re emotionally attached and want to be right for that reason; their motivation is not necessarily about finding a solution, but to being right. Again, in my opinion such arguments should really be left because they are ones which offer no benefit or learning.

Was your intolerance of them due to the inability to see the other side, the side which you were offering? Or failure to acknowledge the problems in their own proposals? I think most people get intolerant of close mindedness, it’s a natural thing :). But friendship doesn’t necessarily need to be cut over differing views :). However I personally think choosing friendships is important - you can’t feel emotionally attached to people you don’t really get on with or feel intolerant of, or if you find their conversation boring.

#17

I did have a shear luck moment once. A girl wanted to go to the goonion prom (the affordable wine appreciation society, a social club at the university I attended), so I took her.
She ended up hooking up with some other guy before the night was over. I didn’t even react; as far as I was concerned I was punching above my weight, and something was bound to happen.

The second part:
My problem is that they’re underachievers, which in my mind makes them losers. Nobody else would complain about people being rewarded for doing well.
I honestly don’t care what sort of thing people do professionally. For all I care they can be professional face painters or similar. What gives me the shits though is when they’re happy cruising along at mediocre instead of striving to be at the competitive top end of the spectrum.
Usually this wouldn’t be a deal-breaker. The reality is that for somebody to be a winner, there has to be losers.

#18

I was on antidepressants for a while after my Dad passed away. It wasn’t only the passing of my Dad that had me depressed, but school, work, no steady boyfriend.

They had me on several different medications over about three years. As several people have mentioned, they didn’t really help and just had me on like a medium feeling all the time. Nothing ever felt really bad, but I couldn’t ever really feel happy. Also, the side effects were crazy. After I first met MITB, I was still on one antidepressant plus a sleeping pill. I started hearing voices and seeing people before bed. I also had a strong feeling to hurt myself, and he actually had to take me to the hospital for trying to cut my wrists. I would try to stay away from any medication.

Maybe seeing a Psychologist would be best. Having an outsider to discuss your problems with really helps! As for the no girlfriend thing, everything happens in its own time. For all you know, tomorrow you will meet your future wife! You are still young and have a lot going for you! Money troubles are tough, but things have a way of working themselves out.

#19

That genuinely mad me a bit sad :stuck_out_tongue: I’m pretty sure you know, really, that you weren’t ‘punching above your weight’ - either she was a ho, or it just didn’t work out (I prefer the latter), shit happens. I think you’re mostly joking, but if not, that’s the sort of thinking that will do you in man… negative thoughts never lead to anything good. Scientifically proven that defeatist thinking just leads to shit mood. ‘Fake it til you make it’ has credence!

#20

TL;DR this thread, but Lothy don’t do meds man. It’s just covering up a problem. Best solution would be to talk to someone about it in real life, either a friend or a family member - they will understand and help you better than any drugs will do.